“It comes in waves”: A relational dialectics approach to exploring living grief in U.S. emerging adults with invisible illness

Experiencing the onset of (invisible) chronic illness in emerging adulthood prompts a unique grieving process that is disenfranchised due to social discourses that sanction grief to death-related loss. Guided by relational dialectics theory, the present study analyzes the retrospective narratives of 57 emerging adults with acquired invisible illness (e.g., chronic overlapping pain conditions, autoimmune disease) about their meanings of grief. We interrogate competing discourses of grief to illustrate how participants make meaning of invisible, chronic illness and its resulting losses. Contrapuntal analysis led to the identification of a dominant Discourse of Grief as a Tsunami (DGAT) and marginalized Discourse of Grief as Waves (DGAW). The interplay of these discourses constructed meaning through dialogically contractive practices, synchronic interplay, and dialogic transformation. We offer implications for critical interpersonal and health communication theorizing and practical applications for individuals wading through the unique grief of chronic illness. Limitations and future directions are discussed.